I want to have Pamela Anderson's pussy

I was watching this roast on Comedy Central of Pamela Anderson and one thing was clear - that woman may be a whore, a slut, she may love to jump up and down on Tommy Lee's big dick, but there is one thing that woman doesn't do much and this is suffer.

Some days I wish I was a dumb as a celebrity who made a ton of money and didn't want to do anything more with their life than show their titties and flash their cooch and make money off of the dumb public.

For the fucking life of me, I can't see the way out of where I am at this station in life. I want to take down my pants and crap on the head of a rich person and tell them how lucky they are they don't have to work a pitiful job to pay the rent and buy their groceries.

You can tell I'm feeling a bit bitter today.

See, this is the point where I should stop typing and take a stroll outside and clear my head. I got a lot to be thankful for, right?

But I did something that made me feel better.

Much better.

Buddha - forgive me.

Okay, look at this. Here is Pamela Anderson in all of her slutty glory:

Look at her titties poking through her top. I mean, whatever worries this woman has she doesn't seem too terribly plagued by them. She has money, big fake bobbies men seem to love, a gaping hooch and a ton of fucking money.

Bitch doesn't have to shop at Walmart like the rest of us, work at a job where she don't feel she belongs or put up with unappreciative people.

I mean, please. Look at her.

While I was wallowing in my own inabilty to get ahead in life, I dug up this other picture of Ms. Anderson:

Now, I'm sure Buddha wouldn't approve of this but this...this makes me feel better.

Much better.

Forgive me, Buddha.

Look at her. She's like any other white trash girl in my town draggin' her sorry looking ass to the store to buy dinner and spend another night drinking wine and taking pills to toss away her worries she's wasting her life.

This made me feel so good I kinda kept going.

Look at Madonna:

The woman may be richer than God but she is not an attractive woman without a pound of make up and a million lights streaming into her face. And you can't tell me this woman hasn't had plastic surgery. Please. Personally, I don't know any man who wants to fuck her. It seems it's only gay men who like her.

Again, I realize this isn't a very healthy way to feel better today but I had to do one more. Take a gander at this one:

This is the woman Gabriella on Desperate Housewives. Eva something. No one really knows her last name. I have nothing against her personally. I mean, she's okay, can't really act as far as I can see, just another pretty fact, but look at the before shot. I mean, this is a gal I'd expect to see at the Piggly Wiggly. Sure, she is pretty but she's not THAT pretty. Really look at how much makeup is on her, look at her earrings and her hair. I'm telling you - she sat in a chair for HOURS to look like that.

Which is why when I get down on myself for not being more successful at my work or being a bigger splash in life than I thought I might, I take a look at these photos and am reminded all the rich and famous people splashed over People and US and Star are fake and part of a big star machine that has no basis in reality.

Madonna wipes her ass and pisses out of her twat. Sure, she may live in five mansions and seem like a fairly unhappy and unpleasant person, but she's not different from the rest of us.

And Pamela Anderson, despite being a whore and weirdly nervous and oddly jittery in public, is like the rest of us.

Pam takes a shit and looks like a normal, tired person with no makeup on. And I've seen her inteviewed on camera. She's pretty insecure. She seems like she could fly off and have a nervous breakdown at any minute. You ever wonder how such neurotic people become so rich?

So the lesson in this? The lesson is when I feel (and you feel) overwhelmed by the choices in front of you and you feel you are not going to get anywhere better than where you are, just remember, in reality, the woman who calls herself "Madonna" looks like a really ugly and really unhappy middle-aged Italian woman having her period.

NO.

That's not the right way to think.

The right way is to not judge others for their follies because when we do we can't accept who we are. And that's where we get fucked up. Accept where you are right now, but keep plugging and keeping moving forward, no matter how hard it is for you.

There. Namiste and may Buddha rock your world.

Now that we're righted our karma, I'm not saying I'm judging rich people who don't do anything good with their money but flaunt their wealth all over, I will leave you with this lovely photo to remind you celebrities may have more money than us, but in the morning, they still look like shitty like the rest of us.

Case in point: